Behind the child's mistimed words, dismissive behaviors, and "empathic obliviousness," lies self-esteem that is shaky at best. Gently peel back their selfish attitude to reveal a self in need of frequent validation. Follow that up with regular discussions about how to display empathy, such as asking questions about matters of importance to others, offering words of encouragement or reassurance, expressing compliments, doing favors without being asked, acting thankful rather than simply saying "thank you," and reciprocating when people do nice things for them. "Your ability to show awareness of others' feelings and warmth with your words will have a direct effect on your success in life," is one way to get the message across. Explain how empathy is the ability to sense the feelings and perspectives of others, and to use that sense as a guide in relationships. Rather than simply getting angry and repelled, parents can consider the following coaching tips on teaching empathy:Įmphasize and educate them about the importance of empathy. Empathy Skills for Self-Centered Children It's as if "narcissistic blinders" block out the feelings and needs of others, leaving them with what appears to be a cold indifference. Owing to their skewed views, kids may overlook obvious opportunities to express concern to others, misunderstand a harried parent's anger at another one of their requests, or fail to grasp why others may not be interested in listening to their endless tales of accomplishment. Despite our best intentions, some children develop such self-centered perspectives of life that parents can be heard exclaiming, "The world doesn't revolve around you!" Even more puzzling for parents is that typically such children are keenly sensitive to their own feelings being hurt, but display a remarkable insensitivity to the feelings of others. Perhaps one of the most universal parental beliefs is that as we offer our love, sacrifice, and compassion to them, they will become loving, sacrificing, and compassionate human beings. When parents raise children and provide for so much along the way, many implicit expectations are embedded within our collective minds. Self-Centered Children Are Insensitive to Feelings of Others Learn how to teach empathy skills to your self-centered child, without hurting his feelings or self-esteem.
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